“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”
– C.S. Lewis
I took my time dwelling on what my first blog post would be about because I thought, “What do writers and authors blog about? Looking that up, by-the-way, renders an odd, mixed bag of results. If you want some more tried and true ideas, click here.
Turns out a lot of authors blog about writing itself, gearing their posts for those who may be interested in writing and possibly becoming an author too, which makes sense – write about what you know. Other authors blog about topics pertaining to their genre. For example, a historical fiction writer might be fascinated by clothing styles from the past, history surrounding the location of where their book takes place, or other interesting tidbits related to their research.
What it basically came down to was this: I could write about writing and publishing, or I could write about topics surrounding my book. However, for now, I’m choosing neither and to put you at the mercy of my whims, lol! I’m gonna write about whatever strikes my fancy, be it writing, publishing, musings on life, my YA romance book, and whatever else.
Thinking about all this brought me back to how I got here to this place of having written a novel that’s getting published and how I’m getting immersed into the literary world and all the indie author stuff that comes with it.
So what was it that really got me here?
First, I give credit to my savior, Jesus Christ. In the end, all of this is because of Him. But what I think changed within me is that I finally got fed up with not knowing if my work was any good. I was tired of being scared for years of letting someone read my stuff, of letting them “see” me spread out all over on paper. What if I thought my writing was okay and it really wasn’t? I needed to find out and decided it was worth possibly getting humiliated to do so.
Somewhere in between working up the guts to go my first ever writer’s Meet-Up (to be a fly on the wall, of course, and not share a thing), and letting Diane of Motina Books, my now publisher, read my first three chapters a few meetings later, I made a decision. (And that’s what it is – a choice).
I decided I was worth the pursuit of my dreams.
It was worth finding out if I was a “failure” because that meant that at least I tried, and that scary step right there is massive.
You see, I’d done that before in my life where I was too scared to try — to go find out if I had what it took to be a part of something scary and big and wonderful. When I walked away from my chance that day long ago, I knew I’d spend the rest of my life regretting it. And I did for a long time.
But now I use that memory to remind me of who I was then versus who I am now. Back then, and it’s taken me years to see this, I didn’t think much of myself. On the surface I know came across differently. I was bubbly and seemingly confident to many. But inside, waaaaay deep down inside, I didn’t think I mattered that much, that my dreams and what I wanted didn’t matter that much.
I believed I was generic.
Because back then, that’s the type of attitude so many people in my family and the social circles I moved in thought. I wanted to be famous and be an entertainer. Whenever I finally admitted my dream to someone, they almost always gave me some eye roll or placating pat on the back and said, “You and everyone else, honey.” Talk about having your feelings written off. It hurt and made me feel silly for wanting those things. I was ridiculous for hoping to be a successful actress, singer, author, etc. And that hurt so much. So, I didn’t pursue my dreams for a very long time. Or if I did, it was half-hearted because I didn’t honestly believe I’d make it – that it wouldn’t be worth the effort. And I know I suffered because of it. I worked jobs that were okay but weren’t something you stayed in and made a career out of. I’ve worked jobs that sucked my soul dry where I’d keep thinking there had to be more to life than this. And I’ve worked in jobs where I made amazing connections with people and LOVED it and thought, yeah, I want this…but I want more, too.
I’m cautious with wanting more because then you run the risk of not being content with what blessings you have, and you don’t want that. Gratitude is extremely important. It keeps you grounded and gives you healthy perspectives on your circumstances. But I think it’s okay to be aware of the fact that you’re supposed to be doing something else, like a calling. And oftentimes you realize that maybe you haven’t chased after your dreams because you didn’t think it mattered in the big, grand scheme of things. Well, I’m here to tell you it does matter.
Your dreams matter.
You Are Worth The Pursuit Of Your Dreams. You have no idea what kind of positive impact you might have on someone else, how your life experiences might help someone even if it’s just to give them a laugh and some reassurance that they’re not the only one who’s ever experienced whatever it is that you’ve candidly shared with them. We are called to go through life with others (yes, even us introverts). It’s how and when we’re called to do it that varies. No one way is more important than another. Some are called to have a huge audience and others might only impact their own immediate circle of friends, family and acquaintances. Sometimes it’s for life and sometimes it’s only for a season, or even just a brief moment. All of these ways are important and can be just as impactful. We all have something to contribute.
So, this is my Hello World (lol). This is my manifesto post where I announce that Charvet Shares, my blog, will be a place to be proud of who and what you want to be when you grow up! I will encourage you to reach for your potential and do my best to entertain and inspire you along the way. I hope you’re excited or at least curious to see where my literary journey takes me. I’m excited and nervous, and I’m super happy to bring you along for the ride. Let’s dip our toes into these unknown waters together, shall we?